Coming soon: Melanie's book of quotations
FUNFARE
By Ricardo F. Lo
The Philippine Star 08/05/2004
Asked not so long ago what she had to say about "sex and violence" in the movies, a popular actress said, "Piano nga hindi ako marunong tumugtog, violins pa kaya?"
Hmmmmm. Witty? Yes – if she intended that "quotable" to be so.
No, the actress "spokening" wasn't Melanie Marquez who, like that one, is a self-confessed Madame Malaprop. (Note: Malapropism, meaning "a ludicrous misuse of a word," is derived from Mrs. Malaprop, a character in the play The Rivals by Richard B. Sheridan, 1751-1816)
I love my long-legged friend Melanie for, among other reasons (besides her fractured English), her way of unwittingly amusing and regaling us with her, that's it, malapropisms on national television. During the passionate word war between her half-brother Joey Marquez and Kris Aquino, Melanie provided the "comic relief" by mouthing quotables, thus firming up her reputation as the (uncrowned) Quotable Queen.
The good thing about it is that Melanie herself is amused/regaled by those little jewels tumbling out of her mouth, profusely especially when she's angry. She told me that she would have her TV guestings recorded and once she got home, she'd have a fun time watching the tapes and, yes, laughing at herself.
That's the spirit, 'no?
"Bakit," Melanie said during an interview. "'Yung magagaling mag-English diyan, may Miss International title ba sila?"
Oo nga naman. Mayroon ba kayo?
Don't look now but Melanie is seriously thinking of compiling her "Melanisms" into a neat little book like the pocket-size Mao little red book (of quotations, or Maoisms). Nice idea, isn't it? It should be a best-seller (like President Joseph Estrada's Eraptions).
When Melanie told me about it, I suggested that she jazz up the book with cartoons and call it Quote Me. But wait. Don't judge Melanie just yet because, as we all know, she's not a book.
Here and now, my friend Jonathan Chua (who's a STAR contributor) has compiled some Melanisms for inclusion in that much-awaited book, to wit:
• My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
• That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't middle in other people's lives.
• Don't judge my brother; he's not a book.
• I won't stoop down to my level.
• Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
• 'Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
• Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo... Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
• We are lovers, not fighters.
• Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
• I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
• Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)
• Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
• Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
• Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right.).
• At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek's mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). "Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"
Said Jonathan, "Isn't she adorable?"
Oh, yes, Jonathan, she is, she really is!
Between now and the time Quote Me is published, I'm sure Melanie will be coming up with more quotables. The book will sell like hot pants (oops! that's me, not Melanie) and there will be squeals (oops! there I go again) – sequels pala.
Stand by.
FUNFARE
By Ricardo F. Lo
The Philippine Star 08/05/2004
Asked not so long ago what she had to say about "sex and violence" in the movies, a popular actress said, "Piano nga hindi ako marunong tumugtog, violins pa kaya?"
Hmmmmm. Witty? Yes – if she intended that "quotable" to be so.
No, the actress "spokening" wasn't Melanie Marquez who, like that one, is a self-confessed Madame Malaprop. (Note: Malapropism, meaning "a ludicrous misuse of a word," is derived from Mrs. Malaprop, a character in the play The Rivals by Richard B. Sheridan, 1751-1816)
I love my long-legged friend Melanie for, among other reasons (besides her fractured English), her way of unwittingly amusing and regaling us with her, that's it, malapropisms on national television. During the passionate word war between her half-brother Joey Marquez and Kris Aquino, Melanie provided the "comic relief" by mouthing quotables, thus firming up her reputation as the (uncrowned) Quotable Queen.
The good thing about it is that Melanie herself is amused/regaled by those little jewels tumbling out of her mouth, profusely especially when she's angry. She told me that she would have her TV guestings recorded and once she got home, she'd have a fun time watching the tapes and, yes, laughing at herself.
That's the spirit, 'no?
"Bakit," Melanie said during an interview. "'Yung magagaling mag-English diyan, may Miss International title ba sila?"
Oo nga naman. Mayroon ba kayo?
Don't look now but Melanie is seriously thinking of compiling her "Melanisms" into a neat little book like the pocket-size Mao little red book (of quotations, or Maoisms). Nice idea, isn't it? It should be a best-seller (like President Joseph Estrada's Eraptions).
When Melanie told me about it, I suggested that she jazz up the book with cartoons and call it Quote Me. But wait. Don't judge Melanie just yet because, as we all know, she's not a book.
Here and now, my friend Jonathan Chua (who's a STAR contributor) has compiled some Melanisms for inclusion in that much-awaited book, to wit:
• My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
• That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't middle in other people's lives.
• Don't judge my brother; he's not a book.
• I won't stoop down to my level.
• Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
• 'Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
• Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo... Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
• We are lovers, not fighters.
• Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
• I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
• Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)
• Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
• Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
• Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right.).
• At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek's mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). "Oo nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!"
Said Jonathan, "Isn't she adorable?"
Oh, yes, Jonathan, she is, she really is!
Between now and the time Quote Me is published, I'm sure Melanie will be coming up with more quotables. The book will sell like hot pants (oops! that's me, not Melanie) and there will be squeals (oops! there I go again) – sequels pala.
Stand by.
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